"Living Proof of a Dying Breed" is a powerful statement that seems to resonate deeply with you. Could you begin by sharing the origins of this slogan and what it signifies to you personally, beyond your craft?
Living Proof of a Dying Breed is very much a motto I strive to live by within my business and outside of it. Within Cutter Paul the motto represents many things but mostly to promote handmade over mass production and using your hands to produce heirloom quality hats purposely built for a specific person with love and good intention. It's about going against the grain for the right reasons to produce something I am truly proud to share with the person who acquires it. So much intention goes into each hat I produce that in the end it's not just a hat, I am sharing a piece of myself within the hat.
For me personally it is about chasing your dreams even if it goes against social norms. It’s about leading a life with passion and realizing that time is the only real form of currency that matters. It’s about learning to be comfortable with fear in the same room and having the courage and confidence in yourself to keep moving forward against all odds.
I'd love to hear more about your mentorship with Tom Hirt. What guidance would you offer to those looking to embark on a new path, and do you believe mentorship is essential? If so, how might someone effectively find and engage with a mentor?
Hatmaking is historically a Master/Apprentice trade. In the beginning, I called any Hatter I could find to offer free labor in exchange for knowledge and experience. After being turned down over and over I learned very quickly that the hatmaking community at that time was a closed-door community and finding a mentor was not going to be easy.
The first Hatter I spent time with taught me a few very basic concepts and techniques but not enough for me to feel comfortable enough to go out on my own. From there I found a Hatter in Salt Lake City who was making hatblocks so I put down a deposit for some equipment and for $$$$ a day he agreed to teach me a few things. Still not totally confident enough in my experience after Salt Lake I came across a legendary Hatter named Tom Hirt. Tom has been the “Hollywood Hat guy” for many years and has produced hats for movies like Tombstone among others. By a stroke of luck, I found a class being taught by the one and only Tom Hirt in southern Colorado (again for $$$$) but I jumped at the chance to spend a week with the legend. I came armed with a million questions and scenarios based off of my past experiences as well as looking for critique on where I was currently as a Hatter.
That week was very meaningful and I learned a lot but I still felt I wasn’t a “Master”. And then one day it dawned on me, there is never going to be this “perfect time” and I'm never going to be a “master” who has everything figured out. Eventually you have to take the step over the start line and just go for it. Acknowledge the journey that got you to the starting line but take that leap of faith and step over the Line. And that’s what I did.
I think seeking out mentorship is a beautiful thing especially when you can find someone who is willing to teach. In my experience, I never found “the one” who just wanted to help me out without wanting something in return. And I get it, knowledge is gained through experience and should most definitely have monetary value. My advice to anyone seeking a mentor is simple, don’t get your hopes up. I think mentorship in the creative world should just give you the foundation in order for you to find your voice as an artist. In my journey, I found I learned most by doing, not waiting around for someone to hold my hand and show me.
Taking the entrepreneurial leap with Cutter Paul must have come with its challenges. What was the most daunting aspect of this journey, and how do you navigate feelings of imposter syndrome?
I’d say the scariest part of all this is twofold for me:
- One being the reality that Cutter Paul is very much an extension of me as a person and putting that out there for the world to see was a bit daunting. There’s no hiding behind anything with Cutter Paul because my story is the brand.
- The other side of the coin is the overwhelming amount of stuff you have to learn when launching a small business i.e. LLC, taxes, QuickBooks, website, email, payroll, etc. it’s a lot.
Imposter Syndrome, we all know it and we all have to face it sooner or later. My remedy for Imposter Syndrome is simple, lead with Love and Good Intention. If you truly live your life with this mantra there is no room for “Imposter Syndrome” because you are doing the best you can with the right intent. This doesn’t mean you stop striving to get better, it just means you learn from your mistakes, adapt, and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Your motorcycle accident has become a significant part of your story. Could you talk about that experience and the impact it had on you physically, emotionally, and psychologically? How has it shaped who you are today?
I flirted with the idea of making hats for a living since 2017 but was so immersed in my winemaking career that it was easy to put hat making in the, “someday” category. Well my idea of “someday” abruptly changed on July 23rd 2020 after being hit by a drunk driver and surviving a near fatal motorcycle accident.
The accident left me with broken bones on both arms and an emergency surgery to save my right hand. Stuck in a hospital in the heat of covid without the ability for loved ones to be by my side, the Doctors prepared me for the worst and were fully transparent on the fact that I might never be able to use my right hand again. A cast on both arms and not knowing if I’d ever be able to use my hand again really got me viewing my life from a different lens. The “coulda woulda shoulda” train flowed heavily through my mind as I imagined a life with one hand. One promise I made to myself if my hand worked again was to finally pursue hat making. It felt like I stood at a crossroads in my life, If I turned left I would have taken the easy road as the victim. If I took a right, I was going to do everything in my power to rise above this tragedy and transform it to a personal triumph. I turned right.
The surgery was a success and I began a painful journey to heal my body any way I could. I was on a mission to prove to myself and everyone else that I was not a victim of the accident and was going to come back stronger than ever. I began to take the steps to make Cutter Paul an official as well as live out my dreams of making wine in Italy, South Africa and Chile.
I was living my best life and thought I had fully healed from the trauma of my accident. Then one day almost 2 years after the accident I received a call from the district attourneys office informing me that the man who hit me was being released early from his probation sentence. In that moment, my body filled with all the rage and resentment I had buried inside me. It was so intense that I almost couldn’t speak, I stood there shaking in anger. It was then and there that I realized that I had spent all my energy healing the physical wounds and buried the emotional trauma. A week or so later I had to appear in court to give a statement for the early termination of the probation. Walking down the hallway of the courthouse I make eye contact with a man with sad eyes and a face full of shame. I remember thinking to myself, “damn I wonder what he did.” Moments later that same man stood across from me in the courtroom, he was the man who hit me. Overwhelmed by the whole situation and the resurrection of these dark feelings being brought to the surface my voice trembled on the stand as I spoke from the heart.
The judge heard me out and looked me in the eye and said, “No matter what I do to this man who hit you it will not heal you physically and it won’t heal you mentally. Any level of healing has to come from YOU.”
That was not easy to hear but I needed it. The next morning, I woke up to the worst emotional hangover ive ever experienced. I stepped into the morning sun, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. In that moment, I knew the only way to really heal from this was, Forgiveness. I looked up the guy who hit me on social media and messaged him asking if he would be willing to meet in person. He was and we decided to meet at a coffee shop. I made sure to be a few minutes late so he could see me pull up on my motorcycle to show him that he did not rob me of my joy of riding. I introduced myself and handed him a Cutter Paul post card in an envelope. He opened the envelope and read what I had written, “Thank you for reminding me how precious Life is, I forgive you.” We made eye contact and both started to tear up and gave each other a hug, one of the most powerful moments of my life.
What does freedom mean to you?
Freedom for me is, Forgiveness. Forgiveness towards others and also finding forgiveness in yourself. Life is a gift and we have the power to choose against the ‘Victim’ road and lead with Love and Good Intention. I was lucky enough to walk away from an accident where statistically I shouldn’t have and pursue a life I’ve always dreamed of. Gratitude is an understatement.
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Website | www.cutterpaul.com
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